Lately I just feel like being totally forgotten by my friends. I don’t have many friends, just two best friends Lucy and Tammy that I’ve been close to and because of school and stuff at home I haven’t made any new friends. I haven’t really talked to the girls in days. With Lucy it’s like one word responses it’s like I try to talk to her but it’s a one sided conversation.  Or like today I talk to her and she won’t reply for like hours and by then I forgotten what I was trying to talk to her about in the first place and she won’t give me straight answers. I feel like why bother any more. I’ve been friends with these girls since we were 9 years old which is 14 years now. 14 years wow that’s a lot I haven’t even really thought about it. Still it’s like I’m drifting apart from her, lately it’s all about her boyfriend, school and work. It used to be school, work, boyfriend and me but now it’s like she dropped me and any time that’s free its only for her boyfriend. Then when we do make plans she ditches me. Its either shes cleaning or shes cleaning after someone. Seriously? The kids have a mother to do that, its not her responsibility. I’ve been bailed on 3 times since January.

I feel totally left out. And my friend Tammy, well tammy is tammy and there’s not much I expect from her. With Tammy having her own family and kid going to school and work and still manages to party well that’s cool and everything but its sucks not having any one to talk to lately. Im more closer to Tammy then Lucy. Meanwhile Lucy lives 10 minutes away and tammy’s more than 2 hours away in a totally different State and manages to find the time to talk to me. I’ve made more plans with tammy and her actually following through with it  more than Lucy.  I’ve always expected cancelled plans and such because Tammy her own things to deal with but Lucy always made some attempt to hang and not any more. I’m working harder on our friendship then she is.

I just needed to vent a bit because Im upset and feeling lonely and wanted someone to talk to. :-/

so nothing new i guess. Kahlil is getting adpoted by us ... I dont remember if I had mentioned it before. These lesbian couple with piercings tattoos and stuff came to our house trynig to get him. We were like No! not happening. We dont want to give him up we love him and he loves us. We got him to open up when 5 others didnt even keep him for a week or so. We love him too much to just hand him over. we felt bad for the lesbian couple so we said they can come to hang out with kahlil and the family and that they can watch over him a couple of times if they are into it. So a couple times a month they come to visit.

School life is a drag. the whole month for writing class the professor has talked non stop about fairy tales its driving me nuts that i cut class last wednesday. I couldnt take it. she is sooooo boring! My Music teacher is intersting he has an eyebrow piercing and a strang piercing in his ear, he hates classical music so is teaching us about folk, rock and other types of music. Normaly the professors would rather be teaching about classical music. So glad i chose him. Oh yea we got a test recently in his class... i got a B+ im so happy. I was so afraid of failing the first test. I really want to do good and take my 2.96 average and turn it into a 3.0 ... As for signing class its pretty fun and easy. The professor is deaf but shes a really good teacher if you want to communicate with her you got to work hard. which remindes me that i got to take a test. so I'm going to try to make this writing short. Sociology online class i got a b+ so far.

Tomorrow i might go to QXT with lucia. Tamy and me were planning the weekend before halloween to go to nyc go to dr.jekyll and mr.hyde resturant and rent a hotel in nyc and go to a club to party the night away for both our birthday celebration. It is truely awsome to have a bestfriend's birthday like 3 days apart.  we get to have a double birthday party celebration together. Its the only real time i get to see her being that she lives a couple hours awy we dont get to see eachother but we do text eachother constatntly.

Today tammy got her foot surgery because of her bones fusing together in an odd shape where a piece of her bone was jabbing her skin where it was poping out in a way with a layer of skin over. Seriously only she can break her foot numerous times and have it heal together without noticeing it happend. I was telling her that When my toe broke from the heavy hangle of a saw hitting it it felt it and it hurt like hell. It felt literaly like a string snapped and the pain was vibrating through every nerve in my foot. So how the heck could her foot break and heal oddly without her noticing...the world may never know.

Well im tired and i need to see if my sign language quiz is online or not.

Word to the wize if your socialy awkard speaking your natural language. it doesnt matter what other language you try to learn and successfuly speak you'll still be socially akward... just to a differnt group of people now.